Citrus Camel
by Power Of Funk
Summary: Kakashi was injured on a mission, had an operation, but there was a mistake, and he came out with... MOOBS! How will his sexy dolphin feel about his new manboobs? Warning: Yaoi, shounenai smut, probs lemons ect. Pairings: KakaIru, SasuNaru, ect. lol!
1. Wanted what?

Citrus Camel

Chapter 1

'Shit.' Thought Kakashi as the kunai pierced the side of his torso, before he had the chnce to dispatch the last enemy nin.

He woke up; but did not open his eyes just yet, and so he smelled it before he saw it; the hospital. He kept his eyes tightly shut for the next two minuites, after all, if the doctors knew that he was awake, then they would probobly come in and start doing all manner of ungodly things to his person.

He opened his eyes. He regretted it immediately. They exploded in pain at the sudden bright light. Then he saw a pretty nurse with long curly brown hair and dark eyes. She was wearing a stereotypical nurses dress. It was shoet, white, and accented her curver well. kakashi, however, paid these facts no mind. He, after all, played for the other team, buttered his bread on the other side, enjoyed hot man sex, drove his locomotive under the sea... if you get my meaning.

He just wanted to get home to his very sexy dolphin man! He sighed inwardly as he thought about the tan man. What with all the missions he had been forced into taking recently, ahe had had very little time to spend with his uke, and had not evenbeen able to "conduct the appropriate nightime activities" fro over a week! A week! For a normal human being this might not be so terrible, but for Kakashi, who was constantly horny and always reading porn **(A/N: Yeah we know what icha icha is...)**, who had recently managed to woo his long time love _Iruka-sensei_, this was enough to drive a man crazy, and if they weren't exactly sane before, then that didn't exactly help.

He was **SO** sexually frustrated!!!

Also, he didn't trust some of his so called "friends" not to try to pounce while he was away. Iruka was blissfully unaware however of how uch attention he got from his colleagues. Of course Kakshi knew that Genma loved Raidou with all his heart, and that he would never leave the scarred jounin, but sometimes they gave people the impression that they had a very open relationship, and Genma was renound for being a bit of a manwhore... but then he did seem to have improved a bit since going out with Raidou... and Kakashi was overprtective anyway...

"Kakashi-sama!" The nurse bubbled, snapping Kakashi out of his reverie: he had forgotten she was there... "It's time for your operation now!" she continued cheerily.

'What operation?' he thought, but was unable to give voice to his question before he felt the needle push through the surface of the skin on his right forearm, and heard the nurse say "Although I must say I was quite surprised when I was told to take you for surgery to get m-", a thoughtful expression upon her face.

But Kakashi heard no more as he sank quickly and deeply into sweet oblivion...


	2. Finding out

WOW! Next chapter is finally up! And guess what? I'm not dead after all! This one is going to be slightly longer and have some **cough **serious drama!

Chapter 2

He was dreaming a very erotic dream about a certain tan-man, when he vaguely recognized a chakra signature from nearby. He fought with his own mind and body to climb out of the blackness.

A smexy dolphin man watched as his lover slept. he couldn't help but think that the older man looked extremely cute wile he was sleeping, with the covers pulled right up to cover the lower portion of his face. In fact, while sleeping, you couldn't even see the glint in his eye; in fact, you could even go so far as to say he looked... innocent? Iruka almost laughed at this, because, as innocent as the jounin looked, Iruka knew that the man in front of him was anything but! He was without a doubt the kinkiest man that Iruka had ever met, and his perverseness was seconded only to Jiraiya!

Iruka watched and immediately rushed from his previous position just inside the hospital room's doorway, to the bedside of his oh-so-sexy lover as he saw the miss-matched eyes flutter open, and grasped the other's hand in a death-grip.

"Are you ok?!" he asked urgently.

"Pffllleemmmmm" was the somewhat muffled response.

Kakashi tried to sit up but found it harder than usual… but a moment after it did not matter anyway, as Iruka pushed him back down to rest on the soft bed.

"Piffle" said Kakashi grumpily.

"Is that all you can say?" questioned Iruka, his face contorting all the while as if he was trying hard no to laugh or cry something, though Kakashi did not know which, though he noticed that it still held the same worried tone as the voice had before.

Kakashi pouted at his lovers words, and as soon as he did so, Iruka knew that he was fine, and allowed himself to burst into loud, raucous laughter.

Kakashi cleared his throat and said in an indignant and offended tone, "excuse me, but what _exactly_ is so funny?" His eyes demanded a serious answer, but any seriousness that he might have commanded was lost with his next words, which were whined at a volume that made the empty chair behind Iruka bleed. "I'm in pain here! Loads and loads of PAIN!!!"

"Heh heh, s-sorry heh heh" he managed to stutter out whilst wiping a tear from his eye, **(A/N: lol! Who knew dolphin-chan could be so immature? Tut tut…) **Iruka took a deep breath and continued: "sorry Kashi-chan, it's just that, um… there was a mistake with your operation…" he trailed off before being set off into fits of laughter again by the look on Kakashi's eye. **(A/N: The only part you can see) **It wasn't often you got to see the usually bored and indifferent ninja with his cycloptic eye wide in panic.

"What?! Why are you laughing? Is it serious? Do I still have all my limbs? What about my mini-me? Is he O.K.?! Please Iruka! Tell me please!" he half-screamed before he ran out of breath and began hyperventilating in his distress.

Iruka meanwhile was laughing even harder, nearly to the point of passing out from lack of breath, as Kakashi had started screaming about how he "didn't want his mini-me to die!" but after about a minute he, being the responsible chuunin sensei he was, **(A/N: snort) **he regained his almost regal composure, marred only by the occasional snicker, and whenever his lips would occasionally flick up at the sides as he struggled to keep from giggling. "It's ok Kashi! He managed, trying to calm the other man down with the use of the familiar nickname, "He's ok!" he was glad to see that the jounin was at least slightly calmed by this reassurance, "There's nothing missing at all, more kind of… heh… Ano… added… yeah, added!" he finished nervously, but excitedly.

He was slightly worried now for his desperate lover… 'What would he do when he found out?' he wondered, 'should I even tell him?' he pondered this for only a second before deciding, 'no, he'll find out sooner or later and he'll be angry that I kept it from him… besides, it's better that he hears it from a friendly face first before he finally manages to get up and gets a nasty surprise…'

He was interrupted from his inner battle at that moment by a cautious voice, "What do you mean...?", now Iruka could practically _feel_ the suspicion in the man's voice, and almost pushed him back down onto the bed again as he tried to sit up to _inspect his body for extra parts_.

He did _want_ to stop him, 'he had just had a big operation after all…' but in the end, after what seemed like an eternity of indecision to him, but could only have been a few seconds in reality, he helped him up instead. 'he has to find out someway after all…'

Kakashi began to pat himself down, but did not get far. In fact _not far_ consisted of about half way down his chest. His previously curiously wandering hands halted when they found themselves currently groping what must have been the biggest pair of Moobs **(A/N: YAY MOOBS!!! Notice the capital letter? Very important!)** In the WORLD**. EVER.**

His poor drug confused mind had failed to notice them earlier, as they had been compressed by the thick, weighty hospital blankets, and of course, having just been put in, they were also tightly wrapped in bandages.

To be fair to him though, he hadn't exactly been _expecting_ it! Although now he was at a loss as to how he had failed to miss the two identical airships! No matter how doped up he was! He was a ninja for Kami-sama's sake, one of the best and he couldn't even notice two handle less, 'thank god' he thought, space hoppers strapped to his very own chest!!!

WHO THE HELL WERE THESE MEANT FOR!?!? KAMI-SAMA! THEY WERE PROBOBLY BIGGER THAN TSUNADE'S!!!

**(A/N: Just to put them into perspective for my lovely readers… cackle ;)**

He was gonna' need a bra. A sports bra. A **BIG** sports bra. 'Maybe Tsunade had one he could _borrow_…' he pondered briefly, before he was interrupted by Iruka

'He seems to be taking it really well… no he's not that mature' chuckle 'he's probably in shock… but he seems calm enough…' he decided to risk it. It was hilarious after all, and it's not like you got many chances to do something like this…

"I've called this one" POKE "Margaret, and this one," POKE "Agatha." He grinned childishly and his eyes formed inverted U's, so much like Kakashi's did… come to think of it, he never really teased anyone until he became romantic with the silver haired man, but then again, he had never grinned like this either… **(A/N: Aww, he's mean t him sometimes evil laughter but he loves him really…)**

Kakashi stared at him blankly for a few seconds, then began to scream.

Everyone in Konoha heard that scream. Babies began to cry, forest animals scurried hurriedly away from the village, birds squawked and flew from their perches, dogs howled in sympathetic excitement, **(A/N: Yeah right…)**,and every citizen of Konoha stopped what they were doing and quickly looked in the direction of the hospital, as though they would see an enraged and Moobed Kakashi flying towards them at any moment, ready to kill. Anyone old enough to have any idea what was going on sighed, a sympathetic, yet humorous laugh on each of their faces, though some of the younger children's still held looks of terror.

When the scream finally ended several minutes later, most presumed that the poor Ninja had either been sedated again or simply passed out from lack of oxygen, a lone voice, though no-one knew who it was, could be heard to say: "So he found out then…"

Only a few animals now dared to disturb the solemn, yet almost giddy atmosphere, and the almost completely silent Konoha looked towards the floor in respect, as though for the dead, before beginning to snicker slightly at the same time whilst thinking of their recently Moobed comrade.

Hey! They cared about the guy, sure, but no-one could deny that it was funny…. Snicker.


End file.
